Archive for July, 2009

Children proctor exams for police officers in China

Jul 31

Posted by asianjoke in News | No Comments

Due to rampart cheating and corruption in all part of the government, top officials in China decide on another route — by letting children proctor the exams. Why not?classroom

Decked in blue and white school uniforms, the 18 fifth graders monitored the 265 police test-takers who are taking promotion exams.

According to the Liangzhou Discipline Inspection Commission and Organization Department, police officers were allowed to cheat previously by adult supervisors to prevent the officers from causing embarrassment to themselves for not knowing answers. What’s the point of exams if the answers were provided during examination anyway?

So what were the result of this new methodology? Of all the exam takers looking for 66 judge, prosecutor and investigator positions, the students identified 25 alleged cheaters, whose test results were disqualified.

Allowing these students to monitor the exams were supposed to help the Chinese government engage in “openness and transparency” according to the report.

I wonder if these children were being paid to do the job. Maybe this is free labor. The next logical place for these children is to engage themselves in China’s legislative process.

Chinese democracy

Jul 31

Posted by asianjoke in Commentary | No Comments

Last year, Guns N’ Roses publish its newest album titled “Chinese Democracy”. Funny after 17 years of not doing anything, Gun N Roses decide to name their music so controversially and then wonder why China would be so quick to ban its sales in the country. Quick to point out its reference to Falun Gong, China didn’t allow access of the music and it doomed.

If anything, the music is all over the net and in its present form is on myspace. Having sold over 2.6M all over the world, it is said to be an industry flop due to poor sales. See, if the Chinese government would just let the studio sell this album, image what the access to that billion of ready consumers will do to the music sales. I could just see it doubling — no quad tripling in sales over days. We all know that the Chinese wants democracy. They may mistaken this as government propaganda and go out to buy each a copy. This would then make this the instant classic that it deserves to be.

Chinese-democracy

Overloaded truck

Jul 31

Posted by asianjoke in Photo | No Comments

No comment regarding this!

truck

You Know You are Married to an Asian Woman When

Jul 31

Posted by asianjoke in Jokes | No Comments

  1. She goes to bed in her street clothes.
  2. You have your rice delivered in bulk.
  3. Your annual holiday is spent hanging round her parents.
  4. She is terrified that the kids won’t be able to speak her language.
  5. She won’t shop anywhere she can’t bargain.
  6. The bathroom cabinet is full of Chinese medicine.
  7. Your flower beds are full of garlic.
  8. She demands a load of kitchen devices, then pounds everything up like she did back home.
  9. She always leaves the doors and windows open.
  10. She always turns off the lights and heating to save money.
  11. She keeps all her clothes in a suitcase.
  12. The refrigerator and freezer is full of left-over food.

Power company commercial

Jul 31

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The commercial is about a family cleaning up right before New Year.


You Know You’re a Second Generation Pinoy If

Jul 31

Posted by asianjoke in Jokes | 3 Comments

  1. You understand a lot of Tagalog, but can hardly speak it.
  2. Make fun of your parents’ accents.
  3. As a child, you were totally embarrassed to eat spaghetti with sliced hot dogs in it. Now, there is absolutely no way you will eat spaghetti without the hot dogs. In fact, you suggest to your non-Filipino friends that hot dogs make spaghetti taste better.
  4. As a child, you hated being Filipino.
  5. Now, you wear Pinoy Pride T-shirts.
  6. You still wear Tsinelas (slippers).
  7. You still take off your shoes when entering a house.
  8. (Southern California) You’ve ever lived in Baldwin Park, Carson, Cerritos, the ghetto part of L.A., West Covina, Walnut or Diamond Bar. (Northern California) You’ve ever lived in Union City.
  9. You don’t steal things (e.g., towels, soaps, tissues, cups) from hotel rooms like your parents did. And when you do take things, you deny that the action is not a Filipino trait.
  10. You don’t care if a T-shirt was made in the Philippines or the USA. As long as it has a designer label on it, you’ll wear it.
  11. You like shopping in small Filipino markets or the 99 Ranch, but you can’t stand the way it smells in there.
  12. As a child, you cursed your mom for feeding you Sinigang and Adobo all the time, instead of eating at McDonald’s once in awhile. Now, it’s a special treat when your mom cooks Sinigang or Adobo.
  13. You know how to cook at least one Filipino dish.
  14. You know what fried Tuyo smells like.
  15. You don’t go to church anymore.
  16. Diniguan (“black chocolate” dish) still grosses you out.
  17. You still exhibit “tightwad” traits like buying a small soda (instead of medium or large which costs 20 cents more) when it’s all you can drink.
  18. You’d rather wash dishes with your hands than use your dishwasher because it wastes more water.
  19. You still like Lumpia and Pansit.
  20. You say Paanset (American pronunciation) instead of Pansit.
  21. You still like Lechon but the pig’s head still freaks you out.
  22. You still find Balut disgusting.
  23. You think you’re all that when you go back to the Philippines because you don’t speak with an accent, your skin is fairer than the natives’, and you have cool clothes – not hand-me-downs from relatives in the States.
  24. You think all Filipino (VHS) movies are funny, even when the movie is a drama.
  25. You actually believe that you could become a Filipino movie star back home because you think you’re better looking than the Filipinos back home.
  26. You can’t stand to look at pictures of you as a young child because you looked like a Fob. (Hey, you were a Fob!
  27. You’re disappointed at American parties where the only food to eat are small finger-type foods with names you can’t pronounce. (How about those vegetable sticks? Yuk!) You’re even more disappointed when there is meat being served, but no rice!
  28. You eat Kentucky Fried Chicken with rice. Screw the biscuits!
  29. You still call your grandparents Lolo and Lola.
  30. You dare not bring Balikbayan boxes with you when traveling back home! One suitcase will do just fine.
  31. Sometimes your Filipino accent comes out accidentally and you get embarrassed about it.
  32. Your non-Filipino friends and coworkers ask you if you’ve ever eaten dog.
  33. Your college major was in computers, engineering, nursing or business. Filipinos don’t major in philosophy, literature, history, sociology and other liberal arts. There’s no money in it!
  34. You think that President Marcos is still the Philippine president. Do you know who the current president is?
  35. You still eat Pandesal with butter, Vienna sausage, or eggs.
  36. Your friends and coworkers don’t call you by your Filipino nickname (e.g., Popoy, Bong, Jhun Jhun), although your family members and relatives still do.
  37. Your parents’ house still have the furniture you grew up with.
  38. Although there are now creative ways to eat Spam, you still like it the classic Filipino way – fried with rice and ketchup. Same with corned beef except without the ketchup.

Hwang Mi Lee

Jul 30

Posted by asianjoke in Asian Girls | No Comments

Weird Japanese TV Show

Jul 30

Posted by asianjoke in Videos | 1 Comment

Japanese people have a weird sense of humor. In this video, the contestants random pick a slap after characters are shown depicting certain words. The loser who picked the XO are then subjected to weird and strange punishment such as having his nose hair plugged or being licked by an old man. Some of the punishments are pretty funny and some are pretty gross and nasty. Of course, this is while all of the contestants are in a public library. They have to keep a straight face and prevent themselves from laughing loudly.

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Top 10 Sumo Wrestler Pick-up Lines

Jul 30

Posted by asianjoke in Jokes | No Comments

10) They call me ‘Don Juan in diaper’.

9) I’m a 400 pound hunk of burnin’ love.

8) Let’s enjoy the traditional Japanese custom of gettin’ it on.

7) Wanna wrassle?

6) I may look tubby, but I got an ass like a jackhammer.

5) People say I look like a young Paul Newman.

4) Wanna do it with a fat guy?

3) I’m 3 percent muscle, 50 percent fat, and 100 percent sex machine.

2) You can be on top.

1) I’ve got Mount Fuji in my pants

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Cash for Clunkers Eligibility – What is the real deal?

Jul 29

Posted by asianjoke in Commentary | No Comments

The Cash for Clunkers’ eligible vehicles list is now available from the US government. To qualify for the rebate a car has to be rated at 18 miles a gallon or less on fueleconomy.gov, the Web site of the E.P.A. The purpose of the program is to help people get rid of their old cars (preferably older gas guzzlers) for new cars (preferably one with better gas mileage) with a trade in credit of up to $4,500. As a bonus, tt is supposed to help jump start the auto industry and improve the overall economy. The plan is being advertised all over television and all of the domestic car companies are clobbering the screens with such ads. So I told my uncle about this program because he has wanted a new car for the longest time. Naturally, he knows about the program already froma ll of the bombardment on TV, but nevertheless he’s really excited about trading in his new ride. I am pretty sure he’s eligble for the full trade in credit. Maybe he should get a Lamborghini or a Porsche. I think he’s still deciding.

He provides us a picture of his car. Hope you like it. I am going to take the picture down to the dealership tomorrow and ask them if this qualify.

Uncle plans to trade in cash for clunkers

Uncle plans to trade in cash for clunkers

I don’t believe any amount of gas is going to get this car going to the dealership. Do you suppose that the plan calls for the car dealership to come and tow the piece of junk there to be crushed into compact metal? I wonder how Edmund.com is going to evaluate how much gas milleage of this car going to be? I checked through their list, but I couldn’t find any reference of it there.

I have another uncle who wishes to replace his vehicle. He has been using his car for the past twenty years. It’s a really old car, but the gas milleage on this car is practically zero. So I tell him that the government is only going to give him money for trading in cars that are using more fuels for ones that are using less fuels. If his car is using less fuel, then the government doesn’t care how old it is. It doesn’t sound like it’s a fair deal he said?

I went online and found that the bill is supposed to be a $4 billion dollar item. This is a lot of money being given away for upgrading in cars. Why don’t they allow people to upgrade their old cars my uncle asks. I don’t know.

Secondly, he didn’t buy his car in the US. The car was purchased somewhere in Malaysia and then retrofited for his need. After years of being on the road, it needs some serious work, but he’s still using wonderfully. See picture. And then what if the car is not in America anymore? He had his shipped to Vietnam.

Fuel Efficient car for cash for clunker

Fuel Efficient car for cash for clunker

According to an article on New York Times, apparently these questions were never addressed by the legislators when they passed the bill. Shame on them.

Any thoughts?