If an Asian girl was really Asian, she…

  1. be wearing platforms
  2. be wearing flares
  3. has one of those fake-ass voices on the phone
  4. carries a big-ass purse
  5. carries hella pictures of her homies in the purse
  6. knows everybody in town
  7. thinks she knows about cars, but really don’t
  8. always be fiending for “pho”
  9. lies about her age when y’all first meet
  10. thinks she knows how to drive
  11. talks hella fast on your voice mail
  12. has a 800 or 888 number
  13. shares a 800 or 888 with her homies
  14. carries a pager for the time
  15. has money but is hella cheap when it comes to paying
  16. has taken studio pictures more than 7 times a month
  17. wears a(n) Nautica, Tommy, Polo, Nike, or Adidas jacket
  18. wears those fake-ass leather jackets
  19. is seen every week at the mall
  20. wear tight see-through shirts
  21. never goes anywhere without at least her homie or her cousin
  22. seems to be cousins with all the females in town
  23. drives hella crazy… cuz she can’t reach the pedal all the way
  24. thinks she’s fat… when she’s like a little toothpick
  25. likes it when peeps tell her she’s cute… cuz she conceited
  26. brings hundred lbs. of make-up in her purse
  27. carries a back-pack to the mall after school… like she’s a school girl
  28. wants to get color contacts to look good
  29. is always talking about “Asian Pride”
  30. is always reppin her nationality
  31. knows cities as their area code rather than the name
  32. calls a city by ?-town or ?-side
  33. if she’s a good girl… has strict ass parents
  34. if she’s a bad girl… goes out every night
  35. used to be a thug/gangsta girl
  36. loves to karaoke with her homegirls
  37. can’t sing when she’s with her man
  38. can write hella nice
  39. writes “sorry so sloppy” on every letter
  40. dislikes Mariah Carey’s racist ass
  41. dislikes Hilfiger’s racist ass
  42. dislikes DiCaprio’s gay ass
  43. dislikes Ma$e’s retarded ass
  44. dislikes Russians’ stank asses
  45. watches Days of our Lives
  46. watches guys play b-ball
  47. thinks she can play b-ball
  48. plays b-ball without shoes… cuz she only has platforms
  49. if her natural hair color is nothing but a faint memory in the past
  50. rather be single than go with a white-boy
  51. freaks at every dance
  52. booty shakes at every dance
  53. if she’s a good girl… loves lil’ kids
  54. if she’s a bad girl… loves to hate lil’ kids
  55. wants an Integra GS-R… cuz every girl does
  56. asks every guy she knows for a ride to everywhere
  57. calls everyone to get a ride
  58. pages everyone with “good night” when they go to sleep
  59. pages everyone with her number… just to say hi
  60. loves money… regardless who’s it is

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