Archive for July, 2009

I Will Not Love You Long Time T-Shirt Controversy

Jul 26

Posted by asianjoke in Commentary | 2 Comments

Apparently this is a play on of the infamous porno movie, “I Will Love You Long Time”, although I don’t really understand the fuss behind it as being one of the top pictures on Flickr and then highly rated on Digg. Sometimes is just not right about it.

jeff_croft-flickr_not_love_you_long_time

A user wrote:

this is an old, trite shirt. i would suggest she express her and your pseudo-progressive outlook with a tool NOT from urban outfitters.

plus, it was probably made in a sweatshop.

It looks like the t-shirt generates a lot of controversy.

Another poster wrote:

Hey, I’ve got an idea, Let’s find a picture of a moderately attractive woman, then find all the ways she doesn’t conform to society’s exacting and sometimes cruel idea of beauty, then try to get a laugh out of it guys! Sounds great doesn’t it?

This is a similar picture of the same concept on another website with  a different woman. She seems to come with an attitude also.

will_not_love

Top 10 Reasons to Study Martial Arts

Jul 26

Posted by asianjoke in Jokes | No Comments

10) Broken masonry makes great drainage for potted plants.

9) Get beaten up by people half your size and twice your age.

8) Never run out of kindling wood again.

7) No need to wonder what belt to wear.

6) Get to be on first name basis with the Emergency Room staff.

5) These uniforms make nice pajamas.

4) Never need to wonder why it’s hard to get up in the morning.

3) Get to appreciate the finer points of Chuck Norris’ acting.

2) Learn to count to 10 in 3 different Asian languages. And the top reason for studying martial arts:

1) (Tie) Get to star in Ginsu commercials. / Three words: free nose job.

Top 10 Advantages of Being Asian

Jul 25

Posted by asianjoke in Jokes | No Comments

  1. You can pretend you don’t speak English when you’re around stupid people.
  2. Everyone asks your advice on computers, cameras, carryout, VCRs, Toyotas and Karate.
  3. You look enough like Bruce Lee that when you get in a fight, all you have to do is squint your eyes and howl to scare people.
  4. There are a lot more opportunities for casting in war movies.
  5. No one expects you to drive well.
  6. People mistake you for a Laundromat owner and bring you a lot of neat clothes.
  7. You can be from Ohio and still be considered “exotic”
  8. If you ever commit a crime, you can get good laughs when your description is passed around (black hair, brown eyes, glasses).
  9. You get people coming up to you all the time saying neat things in languages you don’t speak.
  10. During times of way, you get free outdoor housing at a local house track.

Fish with human face

Jul 25

Posted by asianjoke in Videos | No Comments

The next time you decide to go out for dinner, image the fillet that sitting on your plate — but with a human face. Check out this video:

According to the reporter, this fish was found in a pond in Chongju, South Korea. The fish is the result of artificial insemination between a carp and ayu sweetfish.

Chinese Firefighter

Jul 25

Posted by asianjoke in Photo | 1 Comment

In case of a fire, just call the fire department and they will bring over the best firetruck and take out your fire. In China case, they’ll bring some humor to your life after you waited two hours for them to come.

firefighters

Train Workers Check for Smile against computer

Jul 24

Posted by asianjoke in News | 1 Comment

smileyface2

Between a score of 0-100, how would you grade the smiley face on the left?

In an attempt to improve customer service at its train stations, Japan has began implementing a computer system that would allow workers to check out their facial expression prior to interacting with the customers. It’s the smiling computer system which allows the workers to stare into a computer and smile. In seconds the computer responds with a score. A low score indicates that the smile isn’t wide enough and the worker is encourage to try again to get a bigger smile before going out to greet the customers. According to the AP, there are up to 250,000 riders who pass through the station every day, customer satisfaction is highly required so that the system keeps on humming along.

Using the application is total optional at this point. According to officials, it gives “it gives employees a chance to examine themselves before they go to work.” The software and computer system is being used at 15 of the 72 stations. No words yet on when this would be a required exercise that workers and employees would have to go through every day as part of their work process.

Japan has been known to do very strange things so it should come as no surprise that they would be engaging in this exercise. It is the country that brought us the Nintendo Wii and its quirky controllers that allow for interaction with the characters onscreen. So it’s no wonder that they want to use computer system to allow workers to be able to perform better in an envirnoment where everyone is rushing through the system.

Japan Smile Meter

I wonder if such a system would work in the New York City Subway system? The customer service score can’t be too high because I always hear people complaining about how terrible it is. If they were to implement this system to all the workers, including the train conductors, at least you would be able to appreciate them a little bit hopefully through their voices even if you have no idea what they’re announcing through the speakers.

Thinking through the last two sentences, this system would never work in the United States. Just thinking about setting it up, the City would already get 10 complaints and 20 lawsuits against it for prejudice and racial discrimination. Lawsuit would probably read, “City demands workers to be happy. Workers have right to be mad and bitchy all day!” I guess it’s their lives and they deserve to be angry all day long if that is what will make them “happy”.

Here are some additional smiley faces for you to make sure that you smile before leaving this page.

smiley-facesmiley

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Jamie Chung

Jul 24

Posted by asianjoke in Asian Girls | No Comments

Jamie Chung is an American actress known to audiences as a cast member on the MTV reality television series, The Real World: San Diego and its spin-off show, Real World/Road Rules Challenge: The Inferno II.

Asian Mohawk

Jul 24

Posted by asianjoke in Photo | No Comments

New hairstyle of the day

mohawk_spike

FOB – Fresh of the Boat

Jul 24

Posted by asianjoke in Commentary | No Comments

Here is the definition of FOB:

First of all…Fob’s are immigrants a.k.a. Fresh off the boat. There are many kinds of fobs (i cant really take credit for this becuz i got this off a site. I added some in)

Twinkie
- Besides your nationality, there is little to distinguish you from white people
- Your significant other is not Asian and never has been
- You have few Asian friends, if any
- You are embarrassed at family events because you cannot speak your language and everyone has to switch to English to communicate with you
- You have no idea that the other types of Asians on this list even exist
- You think Hello Kitty is dumb and do not know what Sanrio is
- You are the only Asian on this list that does not know what Bubble Tea is
- You drive a Ford or some other domestic car and if you drive a Honda, it is stock

Asian-American
- You claim yourself as Asian, but real Asians think you’re whitewashed and non-Asians see you as a foreigner. You fit in nowhere
- You have heard of Bubble Tea but have never actually had any
- You are confused about your cultural identity and express this frustration through spoken word performances at your college
- You read A. magazine and think it’s great
- You do not know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, or Kangta are
- You are only vaguely aware of the other Asians below

Yap (Young Asian Professional)
- You are in one of these professions:
a) Medicine / Pharmaceutical
b) Engineering
c) Finance
d) Investment Banking
e) Accounting
- Most of your wardrobe was purchased at Banana Republic
- You go to “mixers” on Thursday nights to meet other Yaps and talk about the Dow Jones.
- You did exactly what your parents wanted you to do and as a result, your life is hella boring
- Your apartment/home is decorated almost exclusively with stuff from Pier 1
- Your parents always talk to their friends about how much money you make. If they don’t, then you’re a dissapointment

Fob (Fresh Off tha Boat)
- You were not born in America
- You know who Leon, Aaron, Sammi, Hikki, and Kangta are. In fact, you have seen them at Atlantic City or Las Vegas recently
- You speak your native language fluently and so do all your friends
- You do not have any non-Asian friends
- Your parents do not speak any English
- When you speak English, you like to make everything plural
- You get extremely good grades in school
- You cannot dance
- Your fashion sense comes from whatever country you’re from and you incorporate nothing from American fashion into your wardrobe

SuperFob
- Your command of the English language is minimal and you don’t care
- You like dim sum chicken feet
- You do not own a single CD, VCD, Video game, or DVD that isn’t bootlegged
- Your only hangout is Chinatown
- All the lights in your house are fluorescent
- You dry your cloths outside your window
- You need a haircut
- You either smell like cigarettes or food

Fobabee
- You are an Asian-American or Twinkie who has recently “awoken”
- You have a newly found fetish of Asian girls/boys
- You have taken the Asian Studies course at college
- You are trying to learn as much as possible about your culture to make up for your lifetime of trying to be white (Twinkie ; Banana) or Black (Chigger ; Tea egg)
- If you are lucky, you will grow to become Fobulous

Gangsta Fob (Fobsta)
- You have shot another Asian
- Your favorite hangout is a pool hall
- When you talk, you sound like a cross between a Fob and an urban black kid
- Your hair looks silly, but no one will tell you because you’ll shoot them
- You have a serious gambling problem
- You are a Rice-boy, but your mods are cheap and are never painted to match the rest of your car
- No one tells you your rice ride looks cheap because you’ll shoot them
- You want to have a Tab girlfriend, but can only get Hoochie Tabs

Tab (Trendy Asian B*tch)
- You shop at A/X, Bebe and Club Monaco
- You only wear black and will occasionally wear white to “mix it up”
- You do not weigh more than 105 lbs
- You have never paid for dinner at a restaurant in your life
- Platform heels are your favorite
- You are a makeup expert, in fact, you appear completely flawless
- You do not smile in public
- You are the object of desire of all Asian men and you know it
- You smoke
- Your cell phone is completely customized
- On the inside flip of your cell phone is a sticker pic of you and your man
- Somewhere in your purse is a Sanrio item
- You only date Asian and will only date a boy with a nice car
- You are often seen with Rice-boys
- You never travel alone. You are either in the company of other Tabs or your Rice-boy boyfriend

Hoochie Tab
- You are an import car model
- Your boobs are not real
- There are naked pictures of you floating around on the internet somewhere
- Stiletto heels are your favorite
- Your role models are Francine Dee and Kaila Yu
- Your boyfriend is a Gangsta Fob
- You cheat on your boyfriend
- Unlike most Asians, you do not do well in school

Rice-Boy
- You drive an Asian import. Usually a Honda or Acura
- Your souped up car (known as a Rice-ride or Rice-rocket) is unrecognizable from it’s original stock form
- Your exhaust pipe is big enough for your head to fit in
- The spoiler on your car looks like it was made by Boeing
- The interior of your car also looks like it was designed by Boeing
- You always drive like you are racing someone
- You are not afraid of dying in a crash, but you are afraid of speed bumps and parking lot on-ramps
- The only other person besides yourself who can sit in your car is your 105 lbs Tab girlfriend. If anyone else sits in your car, the entire bottom of it will be touching the ground
- Even though your car is a Honda, it goes faster and is worth more than a Lotus Esprit
- If you drive a Civic, your dream car is a Supra. If you drive a Supra, your dream car is a Skyline (which you can never have). Poor Rice-boy.

Fobulous
- You speak perfect English and you are fluent in your native language
- You have Asian friends as well as non-Asian friends
- You listen to Asian pop as well as American music
- You are equally aware of both popular American culture and Asian pop culture
- You are a good dancer
- You date Asian by choice even though you could rock the opposite sex of any other race
- You are a good designer and have superior Html skills
- You have an Apt107 page AND an AA page and the guest books in both are packed
- For you, FOB stands for Fabulous Oriental Being
- You have lots of Asian pride

Pob
- A Filipino fob.
- Words that start with F tend to be pronounced with a P. (Fuck you..Pobarized version: PUCK you)
- FUll accent

Little Superstar

Jul 23

Posted by asianjoke in Videos | No Comments

Little Superstar is an Internet phenomenon, consisting of a video of Thavakalai, an Indian actor, breakdancing to MC Miker G & DJ Sven’s remix of the Madonna song Holiday, in a clip from a 1990 Tamil movie Adhisaya Piravi, featuring actor Rajnikanth. Various mashups have also appeared on the Internet using tracks from Cypress Hill, Michael Jackson and others.

The clip is from India and is a product of the Chennai movie industry, otherwise known as Kollywood. The little person in the clip is actually an adult actor, and has appeared in several movies. The video has been featured on YouTube, in Tom’s bulletins on Myspace, on the E! TV show The Soup, the MSNBC shows Countdown with Keith Olbermann and Tucker Carlson, G4TV’s Attack of the Show! and elsewhere, as well as having been parodied on Saturday Night Live. There are also other video clips of Thavakalai fighting.

In recent years, actor Thavakalai has choreographed a dance scene in a Doritos Tandoori Sizzler! commercial shown in Canada, which was filmed in India.
Source: Wikipedia.com

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