1. Woman who go to man’s apartment for snack, gets tit-bit.
2. Man who lay woman on ground, get piece on earth.
3. Man who gets kicked in balls, left holding the bag.
4. Man who kisses girl’s behind, gets crack in face.
5. Passionate kiss like spider web … lead to undoing of fly.
6. Man with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day.
7. Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.
8. Virginity like balloon … one prick, all gone.
9. Girl who rides bicycle, peddles ass all over town.
10. Man who farts in church, sits in own pew.
11. Baseball all wrong … man with four balls no can walk.
12. Man who live in glass house, dress in basement.
13. Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
14. Man with penis in peanut butter jar is fucking nuts.
15. Man who walk through airport door sideways is going to Bangkok.
16. Man who drop watch in toilet, bound to have shitty time.
17. Man who take lady on camping trip, have one intent.
18. Woman who fly upside down, have crack up.
19. Man who go to bed with question of sex on mind wake up with solution well in hand.
20. Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring

• You live in Asia.
• You look at your friend and see that he has the same HAIRCUT as you.
• You tap on the table when someone is pouring you tea. \
• People start yelling Ni Ho Ma?
• People think you’re Chinese no matter what part of Asia you are truly from.
• At a restaurant, you order a delicious glass of water for your beverage and NEVER order dessert.
• Your family always cheers for the Asian athlete on TV.
• Your parents will get you into places 50% off by saying you are 12 when you are really 15.
• Your parents enjoy comparing you to their friends’ kids.
• Your non Asian friends ask you how to curse in your language, to curse to other Asians.
• Your relatives’ houses smell either like mothballs or medicine.
• You have rocks, sticks, leaves, and other strange smelling stuff in your medicine cabinet.
• You mostly listen to rap, dance and techno music/songs.
• Your parents owns a store like a restaurant.
• You’ve visited this site.
• Your mom has a short haired, curly perm.
• Your dad is some kind of engineer.
• You ask your parents for help on a math problem and 2 hours later they are still lecturing.
• You shop 99 ranch.
• You’ve learned to keep bargaining even if the prices are rock bottom.
• You’ve eaten parts of animals they don’t even put in hot dogs.
• You have painful memories of the feather duster.
• You dress like all your Asian friends.
• You get nothing when you do well in school, but you get crapped on when you don’t.
• You have about 12 or more Aunts or Uncles.
• You have tiles in at least 2 rooms in your house.
• You’ve read my page up to here.
• Your family owns Asian Cars (Toyota).
• You have woven mats in your house.
• You shop at a Local Asian Market.
• Your family takes pictures everywhere they go.
• Your dad has the same haircut he had when he was a child.
• You see lots of Karaoke videos with phony girls in them.
• Nothing matches in your house.
• You have a box of noodles in your house.
• You have a bucket full of rice in your pantry.
• Your dad still wears the tube of socks with the stripes.
• You own some kind of Video Game Machine.
• You either know how to break dance or knows someone who does.
• All your little girl relatives have the same hair style.
• You are usually taller than your parents once you reach puberty.
• You tell your parents your crisis period and they always have a story to tell you about the same situation they had been through when they were your age.
• You have a pair of sandals.
• You have had the hairstyle where you part it in the middle or still have it (Mainly for Males).
• Your parents or grandparents own a garden.
• Your mom wears red lipstick.
• You only have Asian doctors/dentist.
• You either know how to speak your language or don’t.
• You make fun of your parents when they speak English.
• Your parents like to gamble

One day, clever Nasruddin went to have lunch with a friend who loved music.  The friend was delighted to have an audience and soon brought out one instrument after another. Although he did not have great skill, he still insisted upon playing something on each one. Nasruddin, who was growing most hungry, tried to listen with care. At last the friend had played all of his instruments, from the drums to the lute.

“Now, my friend,” said the musician. “You have heard many instruments. Which makes the best sound?”

“If you ask me to speak truthfully,” replied Nasruddin, “I think that the most beautiful sound in the world right now would be the sound of a spoon scraping my soup  bowl.”

A boy from Vietnam was opening a new stall to sell eggs in L.A.. He paid a coin to his friend, a sign painter.

“Please write ‘Fresh Eggs Sold Here,’”said the boy. The friend did, but then he looked at the sign and said, “Of course your eggs are fresh, you don’t need to write that,” and he erased Fresh.

And,” continued the friend, “everyone can see that you are here, you don’t need that word.” So he erased Here.

“Now,” said his friend, “nobody in the market gives away eggs, so why even write the word sold?” He erased Sold.

“Look,” finished the friend, “even a fool can see from your baskets that you are selling eggs. Better erase Eggs, too.” So he did. Then he walked away happily with his coin, leaving the boy with his eggs, a big frown, and a very blank sign.

An American, a Russian, and an Indian were working together once in a metal factory. One day, the American made a good, sharp sword blade and showed it proudly to the others. Next, the Russian went to his workbench, sculpted a wonderful sword handle, and attached it firmly to the sword.

The Indian, not knowing what else he could add, thought for a moment, then quickly picked up the sword and carved across the blade in large letters, “Made in India.”