Jasmeet Kaur caught her husband Santa Singh searching high and low all around his living room. Jasmeet: “What are you searching for?” Santa: “Hidden cameras!” Jasmeet: “And what makes you think that there are hidden cameras here?” Santa: “That guy on TV knows exactly what I am doing. Why every few minutes he keeps saying, You are watching the Star World channel. How does he know that?”
Archive for September, 2009
Hidden cameras
Sep 30
Buddha pears
Sep 30
Hao Xianzhang, a local famer, spent six years to perfect the process by growing the pears inside moulds, local media reported. The pears cost around 50 yuan (7.32 USD) each.
Have a seat
Sep 29
Do I get a discount for sitting on the broken seat?
Criminal story
Sep 29
The IB, CBI and Delhi Police are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The PM decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch.
The IB goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.
The CBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.
The Delhi Police goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!
What’s your favorite flower?
Sep 28
Once a Hindu, a Muslim and our dear Santa Singh were standing together. An Englishman came up and asked, “Hey guys, what is your favorite flower? ”
The Hindu replied, ‘Lotus’ ‘Ha, I wipe my shit with that! ’ the Englishman jeered.
The Hindu got angry, the lotus being our national flower.
The Muslim replied: “Chameli” ‘Ha I wipe my shit with that! ’ The Englishman response
The Muslim also got angry but kept quite.
The Englishman asked Santa, ‘Sardarji, and what is your favorite flower? ’ Patriotic Santa replied: ‘Cactus! and replied, “Now wipe your ass with that! ”
Tokyo wave pool
Sep 27
Do you see any extra space available? You can’t even see the water from the video. And you thought it was crowded where you are.
On Friday, an Indonesian woman gave birth to the heaviest baby boy in the country – - a record 19.2 lbs (8.7 kg). The parents named him, Akbar, or the Great One in Arabic.
The baby boy was born via cesarean delivery to a mother who is diabetic.
The father was happy that the mother and baby are doing well, but worried about feeding a third mouth, especially, hoping that he “can afford to feed the baby enough, because he needs more milk than other babies.”
Due to the size of the baby and the news he generated, people from all over the world and from villages in Indonesia were making a trip to take a peak at the newborn. Crowds were seen pushing to get a peak at the 24 inches baby at Abdul Manan hospital in the northern town of Kisaran on the island of Sumatra.
The baby’s extreme weight was the result of feeding on its diabetic mother. He fed nonstop while inside the mother, and given the excessive glucose from the mother’s body, grew to his current size when delivered.
This is third of three children that the parents have. The two other children’s weight were 11.6 lbs and 9.9 lbs at birth.
The former Indonesian record holder was a 14.7-pound (6.7-kilogram) baby boy born on the outskirts of the capital, Jakarta, in 2007.
Guinness World Records cites the heaviest baby as being born in the U.S. in 1879, weighing 23.75 pounds (10.4 kilograms). However, it died 11 hours after birth. The book also cites 22.5-pound (10.2-kilogram) babies born in Italy in 1955 and in South Africa in 1982.
Source: AP News
Oxy acne squeeze
Sep 26
The advertisement is disturbingly nasty – effective, but nasty!
Bank robbers
Sep 26
A funny ad for an optical store in Thailand with English subtitles.
Mooncake
Sep 28
Posted by asianjoke in Commentary, Photo | No Comments
With the Mid-autumn festival just a few days away, bakers in Hong Kong were inspired to make this “full moon” cake.
The Mid-Autumn Festival is held on the 15th day of the eighth month in the Chinese calendar, which is usually around late September or early October in the Gregorian calendar. It is a date that parallels the autumn and spring Equinoxes of the solar calendar, when the moon is supposedly at its fullest and roundest. The traditional food of this festival is the mooncake, of which there are many different varieties.