We complain that it’s difficult to find someone else to car pool. These kids are fortunate enough to get a ride.
Archive for September, 2009
Car pool
Sep 21
An Indian migrated to America , and moved into an American neighborhood;
His American neighbour went next door to wish him welcome.He was shocked to see the man from India in his nice backyard chasing ten chickens around like mad. “Must be an Indian custom,” he thought to himself.
Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home.
The next day, he decided he was going to welcome the Indian man again.
When he looked through his window, he saw the Indian man urinate into a cup and drink it. “Must be an Indian custom,” he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till the next day, he went on with other stuff.
The third day, he was determined to welcome the Indian man. At his gate, he saw the Indian man with his ear pressed against a cow’s big fat butt.
Seeing this, he became disgusted and went up to the Indian man.
“I’m sorry sir, I did want to wish you a warm welcome, but I cannot stand your crazy Indian customs!” He yelled at the Indian .
The Indian looked confused and answered. “Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually American customs. I was told, that in order to be a true American, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit.
Angie Zhao Yazhi
Sep 21
Angie Chiu (Traditional Chinese: 趙雅芝; Pinyin: Zhào Yǎzhī), born 15 November 1954 in Hong Kong is an actress, and was the third runner up in the 1973 Miss Hong Kong pageant. She is most noted for her leading role in The Bund, opposite Chow Yun-Fat and Lui Leung-Wai.
She’s one of the most well known and favored actresses in both Hong Kong and Mainland China.
Car too small?
Sep 20
Is your car too small? Try this.
New website venture
Sep 20
Two entrepreneurs vie for millions of dollars from an eccentric venture capitalist. Tip to any young ones want to get rich: don’t try to cure cancer.
The greatest Sardar kidnap
Sep 20
A Sardar was down on his luck. In order to raise some money, he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”
He then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put 2 lakhs in cash in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Sardar.”
The Sardar then pinned the note to the kid’s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the Sardar checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
He opened the bag and found the exact amount of money as demanded with a note that said, “How could you do this to a fellow Sardar?”
Two birds with one stone
Sep 19
Limited space and time? This is the best way to travel.
Date an Asian man
Sep 19
Featuring some of New York’s top male Asian stand-up and improv comedians, and the breakdance troupe Part-Time Models. Jen Kwok can’t sing, but the video is funny.
1. Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine – see rule 2 below).
2. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
3. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).
4. Any court scene will have the dialogue “Objection milord”. If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.
5. The hero’s sister will usually marry the hero’s best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.
6. In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a bullock-cart, or on foot.
7. When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
a) miss
b) run out of bullets. When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is required to die, as in rule 2).
8. Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of a) pots b) barrels c) glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
9. Any movie involving lost and found brothers will have a song sung by
a) the brothers
b) their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain her sight in the climax)
c) the family dog/cat.
10. Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
a) Scrupulously honest, probably the hero’s father – killedby the villain before the titles.
b) Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in Rule 1), saying “Tum kanoon se bach nahin sakte”, only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this inspector’s daughter is in love with the anti-hero.
c) The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain’s sidekick) unceremoniously knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax
Love triangle
Sep 18
A love triangle is a romantic relationship involving three people. While it can refer to two people independently romantically linked with a third, it usually implies that each of the three people has some kind of relationship to the other two.