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New Work's Rules
By: asianjoke.com
This is guarantee to improve the economy and push Singapore into the new
millennium. These rules will first be implemented in the Civil Service on 1st of
Jan 2000 and will be encouraged in the private sector. NTUC union workers
greatly welcome these changes as it will help more Singaporeans to achieved the
new 7 Cs. WORK RULES
- SICKNESS: No excuses will be acceptable. We will no longer accept your
doctor's statement as proof of illness, as we believe that if you are able to go
to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
- LEAVE OF ABSENCE FOR AN OPERATION: We are no longer allowing this
practice. We wish to discourage any thoughts that you may not need all of
whatever you have, and you should not consider having anything removed. We hired
you as you are, and to have anything removed certainly makes you less than we
bargained for.
- DEATH, OTHER THAN YOUR OWN: This is no excuse. If you can arrange for
funeral services to be held late in the afternoon, however, we can let you off
an hour early, provided all your work is up to date.
- DEATH, YOUR OWN: This will be accepted as an excuse, but we would like at
least two weeks notice, as we feel it is your duty to teach someone else your
job.
- PERSONAL HYGIENE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the washrooms.
In the future, you will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order, for
instance, those with surnames beginning with 'A' will be allowed to go from
9:00-9:05, and so on. If you are unable to go at your appointed time, it will be
necessary to wait until the next day when your time comes around again.
- QUANTITY OF WORK: No matter how much you do, you'll never do enough.
- QUALITY OF WORK: The minimum acceptable level is perfection.
- ADVICE FROM OWNER: Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and
nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
- THE BOSS IS ALWAYS RIGHT.
- WHEN THE BOSS IS WRONG, REFER TO RULE 9.
Rule 9 & 10 are classical rules that will never change but we are glad
now we have officially put it down in writing. |
