Malaysia 2

By: asianjoke.com

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIARRHEA:
Pil 'ChiKit' Teck Aun The miracle cure! It works. Ten minutes and you're "dried" up. Always pack some of this stuff when you're traveling.

NATIONAL CAUSE OF CONSTIPATION:
Pil 'ChiKit' Teck Aun The pills are so tiny it's easy to swallow an extra mouthful and overdose on it. No one can help you here.

NATIONAL CURE FOR "HEATINESS":
Eno, Leng Chee Kang, Chinese Herbal Tea, Tonic Water, Barley Drink, Chin Chau.

NATIONAL PASTIME ON WEEKENDS:
Queuing up patiently at Magnum 4D shops This is very strange. On week days you'll find the same people jumping queues, elbowing the next guy at the bus stops, train stations etc.

THEORY & REALITY. The probability of you winning the first prize at a 4D game is 10000 to 1. Hard to comprehend? Imagine you're at the Merdeka Stadium and you're standing on the field facing the grandstand. There are only 10000 spectators and you have lost your car keys. One of these guys in the crowd have found your keys. I give you only one chance to pinpoint that guy. No way right?! So much for the theory. Now for the reality. Malaysians are an optimistic lot and I believe that the possibility of your lucky number coming up in a permutation is always almost 10 to 1. That is why the next morning at the kopi tiam, someone will be screaming %#*&! Na Phui! Number Terbalik! My good friend Loo Singh, a regular punter has offered the following tips:

When you're at any KTM (Kuda, Toto, Magnum) outlets always avoid a queue consisting mainly of Chinese. These fellas don't like pen and paper. They bark their bets across the counter causing unnecessary delays. Avoid the queue where there are many Indians. Indians like to place RM 1 bets. Only problem is they place about 200 RM 1 bets at the same time. The whole of Sentul probably tumpang" him.

NATIONAL WATCH FOR TYCOONS:
Rolex Usually the model with the gold bracelet and diamond studded bezel.

NATIONAL WATCH FOR YUPPIES:
Tag Heuer Every yuppie's must-have "show off" accessory. Usually further down the wrist, in the palm is a tiny Motorola StarTac cellular phone. The irony is that Motorola spent much time and effort inventing a phone that can sit comfortably inside the shirt pocket.

NATIONAL WATCH FOR THE REST OF US:
Rolex, Tag Heuer, Raymond Weil or Patek Philippe from Petaling Street.

NATIONAL FINANCE COMPANY:
Kedai Pajak Gadai (Pawn Shop). My Tag Heuer is now proudly on display there.

NATIONAL SNACK WHEN WATCHING A MOVIE:
Smelly cuttlefish (during the trailers), Kua chee (during the movie).

NATIONAL PLACES FOR SMOOCHING:
Lake Gardens, cinemas and reservoirs.

NATIONAL PLACES FOR PEEPING TOMS:
Lake Gardens, cinemas and reservoirs

NATIONAL JAGA KERETA:
Wilson Parking.

NATIONAL MOST MISPRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4!

NATIONAL ROAD
Jalan Tun Razak On a short stretch there's the National Theatre, National Heart Institute and the National Library.

NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION:
The braless tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a braless Mat Salleh backpacker goes bouncing about on the streets of KL.

NATIONAL POSE:
Stick Two Fingers Another one which I can't figure out. When you're having your picture taken, the friend behind you will always place two "horns" on your head

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