This is a great way to mess up your pet.
Posts Tagged joke
Mr.Thadani, a middle-aged Sindhi, is on a plane for Hongkong, in a window seat.
Just before take-off, this HUGE Sardar wearing a beautiful suit walks up and sits down beside him.
A few minutes later, the plane takes off.
All is well For a while.
But then, Mr.Thadani realizes that he has to go to the washroom.
That wouldn’t be a problem,but he looks over and notices that the Sardar beside him is sound asleep, and Mr.Thadani, being a meek man is afraid to disturb him.
So he figures he’ll hold it in till Sardarji wakes up.
But as luck would have it, the Sardar just keeps snoring away, and Mr. Thadani is feeling increasingly more uncomfortable.
After a while, he starts to feel nauseous as well, what from holding it in combined with the plane ride.
He tries and tries to hold it in, but then “AAARRGGHH!!”–he throws up all over the Sardar and his beautiful suit.
He thinks, “Oh, no! Now he’s gonna kill me!” and sits there in apprehension waiting for the Sardar to wake up.
Finally, the Sardar wakes up, and finds all this vomit all over him. Mr. Thadani says to him, “Well, do you fell better now?”
An Indian migrated to America , and moved into an American neighborhood;
His American neighbour went next door to wish him welcome.He was shocked to see the man from India in his nice backyard chasing ten chickens around like mad. “Must be an Indian custom,” he thought to himself.
Deciding he could put off the welcome till a later date, he went home.
The next day, he decided he was going to welcome the Indian man again.
When he looked through his window, he saw the Indian man urinate into a cup and drink it. “Must be an Indian custom,” he thought to himself. Deciding he could put off the welcome till the next day, he went on with other stuff.
The third day, he was determined to welcome the Indian man. At his gate, he saw the Indian man with his ear pressed against a cow’s big fat butt.
Seeing this, he became disgusted and went up to the Indian man.
“I’m sorry sir, I did want to wish you a warm welcome, but I cannot stand your crazy Indian customs!” He yelled at the Indian .
The Indian looked confused and answered. “Sorry sir, I think you are mistaken. These are actually American customs. I was told, that in order to be a true American, you have to chase chicks, get piss drunk, and listen to bullshit.
There was once a Indian and an Pakistani who lived next door to each other. The Indian owned a hen and each morning would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen’s eggs for breakfast.
One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Pakistani’s garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Pakistani pick up the egg. The Indian ran up to the Pakistani and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Pakistani disagreed because the egg was laid on his property.
They argued for a while until finally the Indian said, “In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the balls and time how long it takes you to get back up, then you kick me in the balls and time how long it takes for me to get up, who ever gets up quicker wins the egg.”
The Pakistani agreed to this and so the Indian found his heaviest pair of boots and put them on, he took a few steps back, then ran toward the Pakistani and kicked as hard as he could in the balls. The Pakistani fell to the floor clutching his nuts howling in agony for 30 minutes.
Eventually the Pakistani stood up and said, “Now it’s my turn to kick you.”
The Indian said, “Keep the damn egg!”
These are only funny for Koreans or those kyoppos like me who get them.
What do you call a pre-occupied bean? kong beejee
what do you call a broken bicycle? mot-tah-cycle
where do lettuces worship? at a sang-choo-ary (sanctuary)
what do you call a big napkin? HU-ji (huge)
wanna hear a family joke? gah joke
what did one forehead say to the other? .. ya eemah!
what do you call a smelly bird? nem seh
what do you call the burnt rice at the bottom of a rice cooker? bobby brown
what is the vampire’s fav drink? koh-pee
why did the korean smoker go to the horseraces? mal-bo-ro
what did the small fish say when he got eaten by the big fish? Oh-dheng!!!
what did the byun tae say to the mushroom? oht buhsut!
what did the cat say to the sheep to make it go away? GO YANG EE!
what do you call a hairy robot? tul-min-a-tuh!
Why don’t lobsters share? They are Shell-fish
What did the bread say when it ran into the wall… ppang!
What did a cookie say to another cookie when it wanted to leave…gwajah
What do you call a 5 year old onion? Oh-nyun
What celebrity can you trust with your luggage?Jjim Carrey
How did the ice cream get into a car accident?Cha Gah Wah Suh
What did the fish say when it lost its bones?Oh my ga shee
What do u call a corny soup?Ssulung tang
what did song say to mong when he told her he was leaving the country? donk-go, mong
What did the truck say to the bread? Bbang Bbang!
What do you call a cute guy with no ears? Gwee-up-dah!
What did the mama turkey say to the baby turkey? Gobble – ji- mah!
This is hilarious.
- Your stomach growls when you don’t eat rice for a day.
- You believe kecap ABC could turn bad cooking to gourmet food.
- You think our country is a democracy.
- You talk during a movie.
- You use a bucket instead of toilet paper in the bathroom.
- You eat fried rice in the morning.
- You prefer Versace or Moschino jeans over Gap or Levi’s.
- You don’t think Jim Carrey is funny.
- You think Onky Alexander is a hunk.
- You think Rhoma Irama is kampungan.
- You carry a 16 oz. jar of sambal to where ever you travel.
- Driving a car that is cheaper than $15,000 embarrasses you.
- You think dangdut is stupid, but listen to it anyways, because you are homesick.
- You are willing to travel 25 miles to buy tahu and tempe.
- You are “Dreaming of a WARM Christmas”.
- You are very good at avoiding potholes and other road hazards.
- Your local McDonald’s serves rice and sambal.
- You think Supermi is a staple food.
- You have ever tried passing a Rp 50 coin as a quarter in a US vending machine/pay phone.
- You have ever successfully bribed a police officer.
- You have ever successfully bribed a customs officer.
- You have smuggled electronics and porn into Indonesia.
- You do your shopping in Singapore.
- Your drivers license claims you are 5 years older then you really are.
- You have ever legally bought pirated software.
- You have ever been forced to memorize UUD’45.
- You have bought something from a barefooted street peddler.
- You know exactly how many islands Indonesia has.
- You have ever eaten something sold off a cart on wheels.
- You realized that money is everything before you were six.
- The first thing that comes to mind when hearing the word “Jakarta” is “macet”.
- Someone you know has ever ridden on top of a train.
- Your daily commute includes thinking up new ways to ride the city bus for free.
- You don’t mind people being late.
- You think standing in line is a waste of time.
- You have tried every Monday of your youth trying to avoid upacara bendera.
- You have used a mosquito repellant that looks like a coil and is lit on one end.
- You use the terms “Ni yee”, “-lah” and “Ih, jijay” on daily basis
- You know what Pancasila is, what it means and know it by heart.
- You complain that movies in America don’t have sub-titles.
- Your daily conversation may include enactments of TV commercials.
- You have ever consulted a dukun.
- Your whole class has ever cheated on a test, and gotten away with it.
- You have ever spent the night before an exam looking for someone who sells the questions.
- You like the smell of terasi.
- You think the Thomas Cup is equal to the Super Bowl.
- You can name a manufacturer of shuttlecocks/badminton birdies.
- You have a 16′ satellite dish hidden in your back yard.
- You have ever ridden in a motor vehicle with three wheels.
- You miss your maid during laundry day.
- Your clothing has brand names printed on it that is visible from 50′ away.
- You attend weddings only until you are done eating.
- You have attended weddings that you are not invited to.
- You go to McDonald’s to get your weekly supply of ketchup, salt, pepper and napkins.
- You know more than one music group that stole the tune of Cranberries’ “Zombie”.
- You have a can of Baygon on your kitchen table.
- You make major decisions based on gengsi.
- You take advantage of Wal-Mart’s 30 days money-back-guarantee to “borrow” home appliances.
- Someone in your family has extra pockets in his outfit to hide cookies from the all-you-can-eat bar.
- You have paid more then $1000 to get your name on your license plate.
- When watching TV you regularly find that all the channels broadcast the same thing.
- You know more than 10 acronyms/abbreviations.